Blobby Little Jellyfish

Well, I forgot already.

Turns out YESTERDAY was Thursday, and even though I spent the whole day at home playing Fallout and shortening my lifespan via Skittles intake, I didn't write a blog post like I just said I would.

Awkwaaaard.

I'm going to blame this, however, on the giant time black hole that is summer: where you think it might be sometime in the middle of June or possibly a couple weeks into July but really the only thing you know for certain is that it's the hot-time where the air is muggy and being without air conditioners makes you want to throw yourself into the middle of the raging thunderstorms that hit every afternoon.

I think we all have that sensation when our life suddenly loses structure and you go from waking up at the same time every morning before dawn to go to an institution of learning to waking up before dinner or maybe not at all*. It becomes immensely hard to keep track of days and weeks when there really isn't a reason to.

And while the part of me that is never quite caught up on sleep during the school year rejoices in the ability to sleep for sixteen hours without judgement, most of the time it's just sort of like being a blobby little jellyfish** in the ocean, adrift without meaning and powerless against the current of time spent playing mindless video games for hours on end***. Occasionally I look up through the water and realize that lazing around is really just time lost.

That's another added benefit of Camp NaNo. While I certainly won't just be writing all day (maybe I'll be productive, maybe I'll just play League), at least NaNo will give purpose to a whole chunk of time that would probably otherwise be wasted. While I will probably sleep way past a reasonable hour and stay up late enough that the owl hooting outside begins to sound like the harbinger of death, NaNo will make me keep track of the days as I frantically work to complete my 35,000 words before the clock strikes midnight on July 27th (I'm leaving on vacation).

So next Tuesday I will be coming home from my college orientation that I leave for on Sunday, and then the real fun begins. I'll probably quickly update you on the ~college experience~ before remembering that I'm already two days behind and freaking out.

Cheers!

Nervously yours,

Abby

*Just me?
**Just became the title of this blog post. Boom. That's how writing works, people.
***Do you think jellyfish play videogames?

Quick-- A Distraction

You know how time flies when you're having fun? Well, time rockets past like a first-time driver with a lead foot when you're procrastinating writing a blog post.
And procrastinating everything else.

I've started this blog post at least three times and then left and done something else. Every day, I told myself: get on ***** Blogger and write something witty and entertaining about your event-less life, you aimless leech on humanity*. Every day, it seemed more fun to shoot some mutated things in Fallout or mindlessly watch a Twitch.tv stream for a couple hours.

This post has literally been hours in the making, including all of the time I spent beating myself up for not writing it (and the three times that my computer has crashed and/or signed me out of my Gmail account in the middle of me writing).

My procrastination skills have been plaguing me for, basically, my whole existence. I've been doing homework on the bus since 4th grade. There have been few glorious reprieves when I am fully dedicated to a task, and one of those times has been somewhat sanely documented on this very blog!

That's why I want to do CampNaNo. The only time I have really felt the drive to write, like I would have been seriously amiss if I didn't sit down and bang on the keyboard until I reached a meaningless number, was when I was in glorious pursuit of 50,000 words clanging around in my mind.

I might be a horrible procrastinator now, but my resolve is strong. I am going to finish CampNaNoWriMo.

And, as a lighthearted aside, I'm going to attempt to update this blog on a regular schedule of Tuesdays and Thursdays. Every week. I'm sure when NaNo starts that schedule will be warped and broken and bent over a knee to be smacked, but I'm going to try**!

Lazily yours,

Abby

*I think I just made myself cry a little.
**At least then I will have something to write about, like the decline of my sanity and the horrors of starting a new scene when you still don't know how your stupid novel is supposed to end.

Fine Print

Ah, look, I'm back already.

My re-introductory post was listing like the Titanic towards the lengthy, so I had to cut off (dramatically) towards the end the specifics of Camp NaNo as applicable to me and make it into another post.

Indeed, Camp NaNo won't be nearly as exciting nor, hopefully, as exhausting as NaNoWriMo was. I have only set a goal of 35,000 words, mostly because I will be missing the 1st and the 2nd of July unless I can write during my college orientation, and because I am leaving for vacation on the 27th. Also, I have my 18th birthday on the 21st, but it's my party and I'll write if I want to (don't be surprised if that comes back as the title of a blog post on that day).

And*, since ROW80 failed to spur me on towards finishing the first draft of this novel, I shall not pick up a new project for Camp NaNo and instead I will endeavor to finish off the first, craptastic and incredibly messy, draft of A Modern Housewife. I am, however, considering making drastic changes to the plot already. Possibly out of boredom**.

Just to make things exciting, though, I am going to try to finish as quickly as possible, so don't be surprised if there are still posts of complete insanity. In addition, I'm making a concerted effort both to post more consistently here and review more often on Goodreads, even though I am starting to feel the strain of constantly asserting my opinion all over the Internet.

At some point, even I find it hard to care about my own opinions.

If that's not enough working-my-ass-off for you, feel free to suggest anything else writing or art related. I promise to consider it, attempt it with great gusto, and give up on it within a few days.

I'm starting to feel like I'm making a concerted effort not to allow myself to go outside at all this summer.

Anti-socially yours,

Abby

*I firmly defend my right to start off sentences with prepositions, conjunctions, and nonsense.
** Also, fragments.

Crawling Back and Packing a Tent

It's hard to come back to a blog you've abandoned.

It is almost like reaching out to stroke a pet you have inadvertently kicked. I know it is the right thing to do and the best way to make amends, but it seems to flinch away from my attempts.

Hard, of course, does not convey the nuances of the argument I've had with myself for the last week about whether or not I should try to continue this blog or just let it gather dust and focus on other writing. Shame played a factor, especially when my last post, so embarrassingly visual to the whole world, betrays such hope and touts such gross promises. Laziness dragged at my fingers. It was all too easy to make excuses for myself.

To be fair, I had several that seem to hold some weight- choosing a college ended up being a more stressful endeavor than previously thought (I am now a Northeastern Husky, but more on that later); I procured, somehow, a boyfriend; the senioritis that spread like mono throughout my class didn't stop at schoolwork, but engulfed nearly everything productive I could have done; and, of course, I have been out of school for about a month with, actually, a bad case of mono.

Regardless, I refuse to devote this post to excuses. I'd like to apologize, too, for not posting and for giving up spectacularly on ROW80, but this post won't be devoted to that, either.

Indeed, it's time for a new beginning.

But this beginning comes with a touch of deja-vu.

Since the less-structured ROW80 simply was not dire enough to force my lazy fingers (I will, however, continue to blame my fingers) to write more than a couple thousand words of my novel, none of which was documented, and since the mono has canceled many of my summer vacation and/or work plans, I have discovered a familiar community.

Camp NaNoWrimo is starting in July. And for the first time since I got my period and had to run down a grassy hill several times during the night with a pissed-off and sleepy counselor to use an outhouse in the summer of 7th grade, I'm going camping.

Pack yer bags, folks. It's going to be another wild ride.

Shame-and-gamefacedly yours,

Abby

(P.S. Still on Goodreads. Now also on Pinterest- and there's a writing inspiration board, too. My list of distractions is only growing, but I can only redeem myself by distracting others with them.)