The closer college looms in the fall and the more I am forced to think about leaving this comfortable, known life, the sweeter the siren song of escape seems. And maybe that's why, instead of picking up my next-in-the-line The Exorcist, I wanted to read The Granta Book of the Irish Short Story. It's a compilation of prominent short stories by Irish authors, put together by Anne Enright, and it's the first thing I picked up when I learned I'd be living in a triple this year.
Now, in case you hadn't surmised by my gaming and writing predilections, along with the fact that I still run a regular blog in the age of Tumblr (tried it, sucked up my whole life and wasn't even as fun as gaming), I'm not an especially social person. That's not to say I'm some kind of Emily Dickinson misanthrope who actively runs away from people; in fact, I like to think that I have quite the average amount of friends and I usually love to hang out with them.
What I mean is that I get tired of people quicker than the average extrovert. To avoid making this post a really long explanation of my personality, I like this definition of an introvert (though I don't really get what the 'gifted population' is supposed to be about- ignore that).
That's why college is so scary to me. I'm going to have to be around people- not even people I already like, though I'm sure I'll make friends- 24/7. I was really hoping I would get a single, but I resigned myself to the freshman double- and now I find out it's actually a triple.
I'm sure I'll cope, my introversion has never seriously hindered my life before, and the roommate I have met seems nice enough. I've already made a few friends from orientation and the Facebook group. But it is sure to be a drastic change from my quiet, only-child life. I will likely hide in my computer or in books when I need to be alone, and I can only hope that the people I meet respect that decision (if not, I have a friend with a huge single who has offered their figurative couch).
And if I really get lonely (not usually a problem for me), I'll always have this blog to rant to, especially since I always express myself clearer and easier through the written word.
Quietly yours,
Abby
Showing posts with label college. Show all posts
Showing posts with label college. Show all posts
Friday, July 19, 2013
Wednesday, July 3, 2013
Race Against Time?
Yes, this is Abby, reporting live from a home she has never appreciated so much with a headache that was probably caused by exhaustion but exacerbated by Skittles, and I have not written a single word for Camp NaNoWriMo yet*.
I could blame this on laziness or lack of inspiration, but it's actually due to terror. You see, I had college orientation yesterday and the day before. And I was not impressed.
I won't go into the gory details because it was mostly just a lot of presentations and icebreaking games and things like that, but I can tell you that I was nervous before the orientation about leaving for college and now I'm petrified. It is such a different atmosphere from my small, diverse high school. It was loud and full of people that weren't as openminded or easy to talk as I'd hoped and the independence they threw at you- from paying off your interest on your loans, to picking your schedule for the next FOUR YEARS, to filling out a work employment form- was difficult to take in.
Also, they don't offer Latin. And the beds were akin to mortician's slabs. And the dorms had no air conditioning. And they've refused to place me in a residence hall so far
Whining aside, I did make a few new friends and the English department actually seemed both really capable and inclusive, which gave me hope for the coming years. Mostly, though, it has sent me in a tailspin of a rather harmful variety.
Because it now seems like at the end of the summer there is a giant monster waiting to devour me with loneliness and anxiety, I can't find the heart to ignore my friends and get into a positive writing mood. Instead, I want to plan every second of the rest of my summer with my boyfriend and my best friends that I will all be leaving behind, since no one I know is attending my school with me.
I know I will have to shake this mindset for both the well-being of my writing and also myself, but it's way easier said than done.
Hopefully I will get a couple hundred words in before bed.
Anxiously yours,
Abby
*Tomorrow doesn't look great either. Hey, it's Independence Day!
I could blame this on laziness or lack of inspiration, but it's actually due to terror. You see, I had college orientation yesterday and the day before. And I was not impressed.
I won't go into the gory details because it was mostly just a lot of presentations and icebreaking games and things like that, but I can tell you that I was nervous before the orientation about leaving for college and now I'm petrified. It is such a different atmosphere from my small, diverse high school. It was loud and full of people that weren't as openminded or easy to talk as I'd hoped and the independence they threw at you- from paying off your interest on your loans, to picking your schedule for the next FOUR YEARS, to filling out a work employment form- was difficult to take in.
Also, they don't offer Latin. And the beds were akin to mortician's slabs. And the dorms had no air conditioning. And they've refused to place me in a residence hall so far
Whining aside, I did make a few new friends and the English department actually seemed both really capable and inclusive, which gave me hope for the coming years. Mostly, though, it has sent me in a tailspin of a rather harmful variety.
Because it now seems like at the end of the summer there is a giant monster waiting to devour me with loneliness and anxiety, I can't find the heart to ignore my friends and get into a positive writing mood. Instead, I want to plan every second of the rest of my summer with my boyfriend and my best friends that I will all be leaving behind, since no one I know is attending my school with me.
I know I will have to shake this mindset for both the well-being of my writing and also myself, but it's way easier said than done.
Hopefully I will get a couple hundred words in before bed.
Anxiously yours,
Abby
*Tomorrow doesn't look great either. Hey, it's Independence Day!
Sunday, November 18, 2012
Rocky VI: Balboa Writes a Novel
It seems like November is flying by.
It's almost alarming, the rate at which December is swiftly approaching. I have so much writing on my plate it's difficult to think about anything else; the date in my mind has hovered around the 7th or the 10th for awhile now, refusing to note the march, or rather quick-step, of time.
Let me list for you the writing I need to finish by December:
This list is more for me than for you; I'm sure none of you care about my workload. But if I don't get more organized soon, I'm bound to drop the ball somewhere, and I'm absolutely determined to keep all of my balls.
One unexpected boon, however, is that after writing massive amount of words every day (I've skipped at least two days that I remember, of course, but they were usually followed by 3K+ marathons the day after- like today) the piddling 250 word essays seem almost comically short.
Doesn't mean I want to do them. Right now, my novel eclipses everything in my eyes, which is dangerous because it is a total fantasy that this will turn out to anything good or remotely publishable. I would never expect my first-ever novel to be anything good. But since writing is what I want to do with my life this seems like the most important first step, way ahead of college.
Of course, since writing is what I want to do with my life, it follows logically that I should get used to writing all kinds of things, including college essays. The conundrum.
I'd like to post an excerpt for you all, but since my character still has not gotten her lazy ass out of her house and on the road, nothing jumps out as especially important.
Exposition-heavily yours,
Abby
It's almost alarming, the rate at which December is swiftly approaching. I have so much writing on my plate it's difficult to think about anything else; the date in my mind has hovered around the 7th or the 10th for awhile now, refusing to note the march, or rather quick-step, of time.
Let me list for you the writing I need to finish by December:
- 19,397 more words of my novel
- An essay on rationalism (this is due on Tuesday)
- Two essays for Boston University
- Two essays for George Washington University
- Various installments of the research paper due for my capstone (which is also this novel- why I have to write a research paper on writing a novel is beyond me)
- Two short essays for Tufts University
- An essay for University of Southern California
This list is more for me than for you; I'm sure none of you care about my workload. But if I don't get more organized soon, I'm bound to drop the ball somewhere, and I'm absolutely determined to keep all of my balls.
Don't pretend you weren't thinking it.
One unexpected boon, however, is that after writing massive amount of words every day (I've skipped at least two days that I remember, of course, but they were usually followed by 3K+ marathons the day after- like today) the piddling 250 word essays seem almost comically short.
Doesn't mean I want to do them. Right now, my novel eclipses everything in my eyes, which is dangerous because it is a total fantasy that this will turn out to anything good or remotely publishable. I would never expect my first-ever novel to be anything good. But since writing is what I want to do with my life this seems like the most important first step, way ahead of college.
Of course, since writing is what I want to do with my life, it follows logically that I should get used to writing all kinds of things, including college essays. The conundrum.
I'd like to post an excerpt for you all, but since my character still has not gotten her lazy ass out of her house and on the road, nothing jumps out as especially important.
Exposition-heavily yours,
Abby
Wednesday, October 31, 2012
Here I Go Again
It's that time of the year again, ladies and gents. And may I say, there has been an unusually plentiful bounty of pageviews- yes, I can see pageviews- lately, though I haven't updated in a month. Does that mean I'm blogging wrong?
As I was saying, as the clock ticks inexorably towards midnight I am in danger of losing not my glass slippers and beautiful ballgown, but my sanity. Also, my glass slippers and beautiful ballgown. It's funny how you misplace things when your entire wardrobe is comprised of the outfits of Disney Princesses.
Yes, in only two hours and three minutes of pulling out my hair and losing my voice (unrelated), National Novel Writing Month kicks off. I am not ready, but that is luckily a common and encouraged part of NaNo; even if everything I write is disgusting garbage that I ditch when December rolls around, I'll just be proud if I make it to 50,000 words for the first time.
I am honestly going to make a concerted effort to update this blog as NaNo progresses; I promise the only reason for this delay was because I haven't started or even thought about this novel since I last posted. Every thought pertaining to it was drowned in a deluge of college stress.
In other news, I have applied to college.
As I was saying, as the clock ticks inexorably towards midnight I am in danger of losing not my glass slippers and beautiful ballgown, but my sanity. Also, my glass slippers and beautiful ballgown. It's funny how you misplace things when your entire wardrobe is comprised of the outfits of Disney Princesses.
Oh wait, that's Kylie.
I am honestly going to make a concerted effort to update this blog as NaNo progresses; I promise the only reason for this delay was because I haven't started or even thought about this novel since I last posted. Every thought pertaining to it was drowned in a deluge of college stress.
In other news, I have applied to college.
Insanely yours,
Abby
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